Tuesday, May 13, 2008

BILL'S WILD YEARS



FOX "News" knows better than to send little Billy on the air without his nap.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

EXECUTIVE DECISION

The nuptials of Henry Hager and Jenna Bush reads like a merger when you see all the Republican buzz words involved: Virginia-Texas, Tobacco-Oil, Hager-Rove-Bush (kinky), Party Chairman-President. And it sure sounds like one when the father of the bride discusses the “business” at hand: "So the guy comes to see me, and he says, 'I want to marry your daughter.' I said, 'Done deal.'"

Congratulations to the happy couple. Here's to a long and successful venture, free from bankruptcy and third party buyout.

Friday, May 9, 2008

FURTHER EVIDENCE OF THE DEATH OF CIVILIZATION

Alas, Poor Yorick!
This article in the Houston Chronicle gives new meaning to the term "pothead."

Thursday, May 8, 2008

PALE FIRE

In Defense of Book Burning


According to the New York Times, the world is soon to be braced by a new Vladimir Nabokov novel. For those of you too busy to tackle the article in its entirety, here’s the gist of it: Nabokov died in 1977 before completing a new novel that was tentatively titled The Original of Laura. Known as an artistic perfectionist, he left instructions for his family to destroy the 138 note cards that comprised the Laura manuscript upon his death. His wife, Véra, failed to carry out her husband's injunction before her own passing in 1991. Since then, a literary weight that could buckle old Atlas has rested squarely on the shoulders of Nabokov's only son, Dimitri.

Now, nearly 31 years since his father unwittingly relinquished control of Laura, Dimitri Nabokov has decided to play the bastard Edmund and publish the work in progress. Soon, a mass of scholars, readers, and fellow writers will have more Nabokov to debate, devour, and emulate. I find it disheartening that the very people who should defend the master’s corpus literati are likely to be the vultures who eagerly pick the carrion from his literary bones.

To put it very lightly, I'm no Nabokov. Yet even I won't publish a piece until all the words hang in place and there’s a certain music to it. Only the author knows when that moment arrives and the work is, for lack of a better word, “completed.” Some pieces that I work on never get there. Those go unpublished. When I kick off, I don't want friends or relatives posting the scribbles and ramblings that have yet to take their full shape. Those should be considered deceased in utero. I may not have much in common with Nabokov - who inarguably ranks with Proust, Melville, and Billy Shakespeare among the great writers - but on this one issue we obviously felt the same. If Nabokov himself called for the matches, it is my opinion that we should respect his wishes and let Laura burn.

Perhaps I’m failing to see the issue correctly. It’s possible that Dmitri sees himself as Charles Kinbote to his father’s John Shade. Or perhaps, as the 74-year-old son nears the end of his own life, he is using Laura's publication as a way to see his father live again. Either is certainly a nobler alternative than the first and most obvious motivation to cross my mind: cold, calculated greed.

Nabokov the son shrugs off the accusation of money-grubbery with a winning quip: “It's true that my wheelchair requires some costly modifications to fit into the trunk of a Maserati coupe.” So why else then would he knowingly betray his father’s wishes? It's no secret that the work of an celebrated author appreciates better than a fine wine. A 1977 vintage Château Margaux might fetch upwards of $450. I’d say a 1977 vintage Nabokov, even a demi-bouteille like Laura, is easily worth a few million.

If Dmitri’s intentions were purely altruistic (which would first require this article’s author to believe that altruism is a human trait), why not distribute the work on the Internet, where anyone who’s curious to read Laura could do so for free. That would serve to deflate the supposition that Dmitri is merely a profiteer. Better still, he could stay true to his father’s wishes and place the manuscript in a museum. Scholars would make the pilgrimage to study Laura in the original. Visitors would be treated to a rare glimpse at Nabokov’s legendary working method. The integrity of the work and the integrity of its author could thusly be preserved.

Integrity. That seems to be the issue at question, doesn't it? I certainly don’t consider myself a literary puritan. And perhaps I’m being too severe in my judgment of Dimitri, a man who has devoted his own life to translating and preserving the work of his father. I would by lying if I said I was not tantalized by the prospect of reading something more by an author I hold in heavenly esteem, whose vicious wit and pitch-perfect phrasing thrilled me for many a night on this wide, lonely range. Yet I cannot shake the feeling that if we, as an audience, were meant to read The Original of Laura, Nabokov would have lived to complete it.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

SAINT CINDY

The Canonization of Mrs. John McCain
What follows is a real email that might just end up in your inbox (if you're subject to certain political proclivities). It was forwarded to me by a dear friend and frequent co-conspirator. Needless to say, I trust the source implicitly. Without further ado, the email:

Fwd: Fw: Fwd: Cindy McCain - wife of John McCain

From person who passed it on to me: This was news to me. I have never gotten any good news about the candidates. What I have gotten has been mostly one sided. Bet you would have never guessed this one!

No matter your politics. The media will never tell of this, so pass it on. There was an article in the Wall Street Journal on Cindy McCain, John"s wife. All I ever saw was this attractive woman standing beside John. I was surprised how talented and involved with world problems she is.
This is a summary of the article. She graduated from Southern Cal and was aspecial-needs teacher. After her Dad died she became involved with his beer distributing firm and is now the chairwoman. Sales have doubled since she has taken over from her father.

They have a marriage prenuptial agreement, her assets remain separate. She is involved around the world clearing land mines - travels to these countries on a detonation team and service on their board. They have a 19 year old serving in Iraq, another son in the Naval Academy, a daughter recently graduated from Columbia Univ., an adopted daughter in high school, and a son who is the finance guy at the beer firm. Raised kids in Phoenix, Az rather than Washington DC (better atmosphere). He commuted.

In 1991 Mrs. McCain came across a girl in an orphanage in Bangladesh. Mother Teresaimplored Mrs. McCain to take the baby with severe cleft palate. She did so without first telling her husband. The couple adopted the girl who has had a dozen operations to repair her cleft palate and other medical problems.

They have a Family Foundation for children's causes. She's active with "Halo Trust" -
to clear land mines, provide water and food in war ravaged and developing countries. She will join an overseas mission of "Operation Smile", a charity for corrective surgery on children's faces.

She has had two back surgeries and became addicted to pain killers. She talksopenly about it which she says is part of the recovery process. I'm surprised the media is so quiet about her attributes. She sounds more capable than Hillary or Obama.

We would really get two for the price of one. A person with business and international experience. John did work for the firm for awhile when he left the Navy. She, however, has the real business experience. Very interesting.


Very interesting, indeed. While it's tempting to take it apart line by line, that would only validate its existence. There's a preponderance of great stuff in there, and I'm interested in hearing some of your favorite quotes, themes, and ideas.

Let Freedumb Ring!

The Rifleman